put down the fork

  I had forgotten there are still people who hate me because I’m fat. I knew it for a fact most of life. From about 8 to 21, when I met Gus. I knew I was fat and that any time anyone wasn’t mean to me, especially boys, I should be grateful. Fat matters less when you’re…

Starting Pistol

  Last night, after drinking gallons of watered down apple juice and milk, LE pushed her small belly against the fabric of her nightgown. It rounded out and sloshed. “Mama,” she said, with true sadness, “I look fat.” It had the effect of a starting pistol, cleaving the uneasy anticipation and sending me on a…

unprofessional-grade-tits

“Mom? Do grown up’s bottoms get wrinkles? From the water? Like fingers?”I stand up from the slight stoop I was in to towel off my hair after switching places in the shower with LE. I consider the lovely view of my dimpled rear my daughter has been observing from the floor of the shower, and I say, “Yes.…

FORGOT THE VASELINE

    When you look at yourself in the mirror, your brain smooths out the reflection for you. It automatically smears Vaseline over the lens of your mind and what you see is familiar, workable, fine. Every woman carries a gauzy camera lens and soft lighting in the toolbox of her mind. But then those surprises. Tagged…

No one should see this

    This is not a cute kid story or a fashion post. It is BOTH. Which puts it into a totally unique category that you would be sorely remiss not to read. These babies. I got new chubbtastic tights from We Love Color . I haven’t worn tights since I was 11. Or pantyhose since I was 19. And…

HELLS DUMBELLS

  Let’s Do This Thing. At lunch today Amelia and Marlene dutifully chose salads over clam chowder. The last piece of bread sat in the basket.  “Look, I’m totally eating that,” I said, and snatched it up. It was just going to sit there because most women are too polite to take the last piece of…

Too pretty to be normal

Many women and girls have the ability to look fantastic. To really lay it on, dress to the nines. They turn heads at the Italian restaurant, they get flirted with at the wedding reception. Even I could do it every now and then. But that’s not the same as being “professional grade” pretty. Like models and…