ANNOUNCING: This one’s for all the (bitchy gross fat and ugly) ladies!
All hail the fatties and the butterfaces and the loud mouthed sluts! For upon their crooked and unlovely backs, a nation was built.
All hail the fatties and the butterfaces and the loud mouthed sluts! For upon their crooked and unlovely backs, a nation was built.
“Redneck.” My daughter asked me what it meant. I’d never been asked that before. And I’d never known the answer til I said it. “It’s a derogatory slur for the poor and working class.” It’s a word for someone who likes different music than you do. It’s a word for people who couldn’t or…
And don’t we all have our gashes. That wound that is just yours, in your secret tender spot. 100 people, poked in that particular place, might wince, might slap away a tiny sting in irritation. But you, you can’t stand even the thinnest chafe, the warmest puff of wind. The nerves are inflamed, torn muscles…
It’s not a “bucket list.” It’s my Rockstar Dreams. The fantasies I lived inside as a kid, clear into my twenties. I lived inside my head and though the rest of my self suffered for it, my health, my relationships, my strength of character, the interior of my skull was nourished and rich. I wanted…
I’m not gonna talk about pee sex. Just…in case that’s the only reason you’re here. It was a bait and switch, lemme be up front about that. BUT….if this were ten years ago…I totally would. Today, come wander with me. As a favor. Because today I miss my old blog. The first one, that I…
“…when I hear women saying that the cards are stacked against them because of the Patriarchy I think, “Yeah no shit. Welcome to the world, Princess. Stop stomping your dainty little foot sniffling “not fair!” Grab the fucking deck and reshuffle.”
To my ears, these nice ladies had just chirped “Hey you know what the Sistine Chapel needs? Some tract lighting with pretty scarfs draped over the bulbs! Hey, has anyone ever petitioned Congress to update the Statue of Liberty’s outfit?”
If you’re in the Portland area, SO AM I, this Saturday at 2pm, Tigard Public Library. Gonna be doing some serious schooling, Wives.
Don’t call them “Rebs” and don’t call it The War of Northern Aggression even in fun. OR in sincerity because you’re contrarian by nature and you’ve read waayyyyy too much about the Right of Secession. They will go pale, look frustrated or guilty or…..guiltstrated…. and not be able to think of how to respond.…
You did it again, I told myself. Spread open your arms, pointed at your vital places and said, “aim for here…it will hurt best here.”