Sex Torsos All the Way Down

  Listen, you can look down on me all you want. But I say, if you were in the same situation, YOU would have grabbed that Playboy out of the Burger King garbage can, same as I did. Not this one…but that’s the general idea. Maybe it was the long buried reflex all bad children…

Starting Pistol

  Last night, after drinking gallons of watered down apple juice and milk, LE pushed her small belly against the fabric of her nightgown. It rounded out and sloshed. “Mama,” she said, with true sadness, “I look fat.” It had the effect of a starting pistol, cleaving the uneasy anticipation and sending me on a…

IN PRAISE OF THE EMOTIONAL CIRCLE JERK

  I once read a post where a woman told how her husband and smirked at and belittled her blogging. He described it (I’m paraphrasing) as a an emotional circle jerk, where women just sit around taking turns whining and praising each other. The lady who wrote it was really hurt. She was hurt because…

unprofessional-grade-tits

“Mom? Do grown up’s bottoms get wrinkles? From the water? Like fingers?”I stand up from the slight stoop I was in to towel off my hair after switching places in the shower with LE. I consider the lovely view of my dimpled rear my daughter has been observing from the floor of the shower, and I say, “Yes.…

FORGOT THE VASELINE

    When you look at yourself in the mirror, your brain smooths out the reflection for you. It automatically smears Vaseline over the lens of your mind and what you see is familiar, workable, fine. Every woman carries a gauzy camera lens and soft lighting in the toolbox of her mind. But then those surprises. Tagged…

No one should see this

    This is not a cute kid story or a fashion post. It is BOTH. Which puts it into a totally unique category that you would be sorely remiss not to read. These babies. I got new chubbtastic tights from We Love Color . I haven’t worn tights since I was 11. Or pantyhose since I was 19. And…

HELLS DUMBELLS

  Let’s Do This Thing. At lunch today Amelia and Marlene dutifully chose salads over clam chowder. The last piece of bread sat in the basket.  “Look, I’m totally eating that,” I said, and snatched it up. It was just going to sit there because most women are too polite to take the last piece of…