Goodwill, Unopened and Cruel.

Crystal died so fast.

She never knew what to make of me. Our daughters had been best frenemies since age six, their squealing little naked bodies careening through our small house, slipping on laminate, streaking from their daring “night swim” in our inflatable Intex Quik-Set into a hot shower.

I don’t like summer. But I love Instagram Takeovers.

  Instagram Takeover Part…like…the Fifth? tomorrow my friends! Theme: “What I did on my Summer Vacation.” Where I get to shower social media with a mixture of child-labor, chubby babes in sexy swimsuits that reach their ankles and wrists, a couple private pics of my own, and all things weird and summer-y. Cuz the secret…I…