People will pay you to be inhumane.

The papers were not in the order they’d been given to me on the clipboard. The writing on them was a silent, jagged screech of protest against clipboards that are bigoted against left-handers, though I’d be hard pressed to explain how a flat board accomplishes this. I just know it does. Also, I hate paperwork.…

Drunken Parenting and Potatos

This is too long and…strange? to be called an official book trailer. But my god I do love it, we worked hard on it. And yes…there is a great deal of booze, screaming, violence, and potatoes in my little movie but I was trying to be as honest to the Victorian Era as possible. Also,…

Goodwill, Unopened and Cruel.

Crystal died so fast.

She never knew what to make of me. Our daughters had been best frenemies since age six, their squealing little naked bodies careening through our small house, slipping on laminate, streaking from their daring “night swim” in our inflatable Intex Quik-Set into a hot shower.

I don’t like summer. But I love Instagram Takeovers.

  Instagram Takeover Part…like…the Fifth? tomorrow my friends! Theme: “What I did on my Summer Vacation.” Where I get to shower social media with a mixture of child-labor, chubby babes in sexy swimsuits that reach their ankles and wrists, a couple private pics of my own, and all things weird and summer-y. Cuz the secret…I…