I once read a post where a woman told how her husband and smirked at and belittled her blogging. He described it (I’m paraphrasing) as a an emotional circle jerk, where women just sit around taking turns whining and praising each other. The lady who wrote it was really hurt. She was hurt because…
“Mom? Do grown up’s bottoms get wrinkles? From the water? Like fingers?”I stand up from the slight stoop I was in to towel off my hair after switching places in the shower with LE. I consider the lovely view of my dimpled rear my daughter has been observing from the floor of the shower, and I say, “Yes.…
Fine. I’m that woman. I am. I’m the one standing in my front yard (which, until a month ago was overgrown and absolutely shimmering with weeds) yelling vulgarity across the neighborhood cuz my damn dog ran off. I’m bra-less and my baggy shirt has smushed baby breakfast bar on it. Not today’s breakfast bar. Not yesterday’s, actually. I’m wearing pajama…
You’d think being responsible for someone else’s life would make you really uptight, but it has the opposite affect. You spend your days tending to someone else’s feces. In the before-time, you could enjoy the luxury of disgust, and silly fears. It was an indulgence, you know, to run screaming and flapping around when you saw a spider.…
A “Sodomite” isn’t just a person who enjoys putting their penis in or around someone else with a penis. Historically, a Sodomite is so much more. *(I wrote this in I think…2008? for a friend’s marriage equality campaign. Another friend just dug it up and sent it to me. I’m naughty, but I still think…
When you look at yourself in the mirror, your brain smooths out the reflection for you. It automatically smears Vaseline over the lens of your mind and what you see is familiar, workable, fine. Every woman carries a gauzy camera lens and soft lighting in the toolbox of her mind. But then those surprises. Tagged…
(originally published in April, 2013) Spring Break can eat a bag of DICKS. Seriously. I…I had the worst damn week. I’m absolutely bereft over what this summer is going to be like. My daughter. Oh my daughter. She is a good girl. Willing to please, loving, positive. She is unbearable. I think it’s my…
I’m not saying the kids don’t like these. I’m not saying they’re poorly made or bad for a child’s little brain. I’m just saying that I hate them. I really really hate them. Dragon Tales It’s about these two little kids who escape into a fantasy world populated by hideously ugly dragons who are the most…
This is not a cute kid story or a fashion post. It is BOTH. Which puts it into a totally unique category that you would be sorely remiss not to read. These babies. I got new chubbtastic tights from We Love Color . I haven’t worn tights since I was 11. Or pantyhose since I was 19. And…
Justified I don’t understand people who “write for themselves.” I can pinpoint the moment that I realized I needed an audience to be whole. It was sophomore year. I was wearing a black headband and an unbecoming beige black and green striped shirt. I stood at the pulpit of the school chapel and read for Week of Prayer,…
You're Doing It Wrong 