(originally published in April, 2013) Spring Break can eat a bag of DICKS. Seriously. I…I had the worst damn week. I’m absolutely bereft over what this summer is going to be like. My daughter. Oh my daughter. She is a good girl. Willing to please, loving, positive. She is unbearable. I think it’s my…
I’m not saying the kids don’t like these. I’m not saying they’re poorly made or bad for a child’s little brain. I’m just saying that I hate them. I really really hate them. Dragon Tales It’s about these two little kids who escape into a fantasy world populated by hideously ugly dragons who are the most…
This is not a cute kid story or a fashion post. It is BOTH. Which puts it into a totally unique category that you would be sorely remiss not to read. These babies. I got new chubbtastic tights from We Love Color . I haven’t worn tights since I was 11. Or pantyhose since I was 19. And…
Justified I don’t understand people who “write for themselves.” I can pinpoint the moment that I realized I needed an audience to be whole. It was sophomore year. I was wearing a black headband and an unbecoming beige black and green striped shirt. I stood at the pulpit of the school chapel and read for Week of Prayer,…
Let’s Do This Thing. At lunch today Amelia and Marlene dutifully chose salads over clam chowder. The last piece of bread sat in the basket. “Look, I’m totally eating that,” I said, and snatched it up. It was just going to sit there because most women are too polite to take the last piece of…
That’s it. I quit. Hands in the air, quit. It’s official. Everything…EVERYTHING is going to harm your child. Including swaddling them. You know, swaddling. The thing that nearly every civilization in every era of history has done for all of time? Yeah, now we need to worry about THAT, too, according to The…
LE has been taught that it’s ok to ask me questions about people. It’s ok to notice that someone is very fat, missing a leg, dressed differently, a different culture, or mentally challenged. And we can talk about it. The only rule is that she has to wait until they are gone to ask me. In…
Many women and girls have the ability to look fantastic. To really lay it on, dress to the nines. They turn heads at the Italian restaurant, they get flirted with at the wedding reception. Even I could do it every now and then. But that’s not the same as being “professional grade” pretty. Like models and…
Utter. Crap. I mean it. Have you met this person in real life? If you climb their wall, what is your reward? Do you reap the bounty of them? Do they embrace you, give you back what you’ve put into them, what you need to feel loved? Your climbing, your effort, makes them feel wanted. And…
*Andrea Zuckerman, Beverly Hills 90210 GAWD. Ok, no one was particularly likable on 90210. But they were charismatic and/or slickly attractive, in their shallow, pinched nose sorta way. But Andrea, man she just had nothing to offer. She should have been the most interesting. Poor, smart, not conventionally pretty…her character should have been hilarious or poignant or something. But no.…
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