Team Therese’s Olde-Time Vaginas

  String together some rocks, not stones. Not semi-precious tumbled and shining. Just gray hard rocks, fist sized. Then knot that string. Then swallow it. And you will feel like I did staring at my cell phone, waiting for it to ring. I have something akin to a “team” now. Team Therese. Or rather, Team…

Therese Wrote a Book

And anyone who wants to sign up for a copy can now, cuz Amazon.  They won’t get it til November. But neither will they suffer when the book sells out the first day. I don’t know if that happens. But it might, don’t take chances with important matters. The mother of my child hood friend,…

oh my baybee

I put him to bed tonight. I tried to tickle, hug, sing, play. Slow, gentle; I know not to smother or overwhelm him. Interspersed between each new attempt was the constant refrain, near tears, “Get out! Get Out! Get Out!” pointing at the door.

Spatter Painting with The Compost

Since I became aware of blogs, I’ve had one. Always anonymous because I had guck, and I wanted to be free to splatter that guck any way I wished to fling it. I can’t do that freely anymore. I’m real now, accountable for my whines and prejudices and selfishness. But just this once…I’m just gonna…

Still Hungry

  I’ve turned in nine chapters of my book in under three months, maybe about four more to go. The book is funny. I am funny. Underwear and toilets are funny. It all comes together. I have friends who are disppointed in how I’ve chosen to use my way with words. People who think humor…

Black! Benign? Bizarre.

  I have spent an ass-achingly amount of time combing through image archives, looking for 19th century, hi-res 300 dpi or greater, public domain pictures to put in my book. (UNMENTIONABLE: The Victorian Lady’s Guide to Sex, Marriage and Manners Due Fall 2016 from Little, Brown! Woot!) Which is more difficult than you can even imagine, to find…

Accountants are frowny

The relationship budding between me and my accountant bares similarities to that between my beloved Pam, and her own very talented accountant, Cyril. Let’s watch, shall we?    Once again I sit in Mike the CPA’s office to talk about why I should have to pay taxes on the art and information I offer the…